Nighttime Personalities Lampoon Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Visa Plan

Late-night's top entertainers devoted their broadcast criticizing President Donald Trump's just announced immigration initiative, dubbed the "Trump card," describing it as a obvious pay-for-access scheme for the wealthy.

Colbert's Witty Analysis

Opening his program, Stephen Colbert offered a mock Christmas song targeting the commander-in-chief. "He's compiling a list, checking it twice, before giving that list to the officials at ICE," he crooned. "Donald Trump ... destroys everything he comes into contact with."

The focus was the controversial program that permits foreign individuals to buy U.S. legal status for an investment of a million dollars, or "platinum" tier for five million. A government website guarantees approval "in record time."

"One thought here to rich foreigners: before you fork over the cash, maybe think about Canada?" Colbert remarked.

He noted that the card is also designed to "squeeze cash" from firms looking to hire skilled workers, involving hefty fees. "That is a lot of fees, but if you enroll, you also get two free nights at a property of your choice – provided that it's the a specific Marriott," he continued.

"The best vetting the U.S. government has ever done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to ensure these people completely meet the standard to be in America."

"That is important, you have to prove you're qualified to be an American," Colbert deadpanned. "First question: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Blistering Critique

On his own show, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the initiative the "Get Into America Express Card."

"This is a card that will allow wealthy overseas citizens to live here," he explained. "For a million bucks, you get legal resident status, you get a route to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one significant crime of your choice."

"It might be time to revise that inscription on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your poor masses. Give us a million bucks, you're in!" he added.

Kimmel teased the lack of detail of the application, saying it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He said that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare."

"That's right, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "That's what Jesus always said! It's in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you pay the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers covering Economic Issues

On another network, Seth Meyers turned to Trump's plunging approval ratings amid economic worries. "Voters gave Donald Trump a second term because they were upset about the economy," he explained.

Recently, in a effort to tackle affordability, Trump held a briefing in front of a display of grocery items, where he reacted oddly to some cereal.

"What a nice job, I think I'm going to take some of them back to my place and have a lot of fun," Trump remarked. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a long time."

"He's so extremely weird," Meyers said. "What do you mean, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What's the plan with those Cheerios?"

Meyers wrapped up by criticizing right-leaning media arguments of Trump's economic record. "Maybe rather than voicing concerns, you should give him a sparkling trophy similar to the one FIFA did," he remarked.